we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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