My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
