WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
