you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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