Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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