D3 body, D1 cock
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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