new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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