Sponge bath it is.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
