everyone is single if you try hard enough
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
two words...techno handjob
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
