Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
