You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
