I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
