she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
