I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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