he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize