I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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