If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
