Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
