32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You're like the curious george of whores
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
