our cab driver is having phone sex.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
