remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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