I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize