p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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