Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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