I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
