I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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