6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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