i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
