If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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