im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
