Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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