Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
it's great music for shaving your balls
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
