Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
