well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
As shirtless as possible
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
