He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I would fuck him just for his dog
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
