I need help removing her.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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