I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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