I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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