I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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