I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
May the power of my ass compel you!!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
