she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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