Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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