I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
