Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize