i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
