This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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