thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
