We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
