Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
