Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
