Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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