you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
