What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
false alarm. still invincible.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
