Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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