im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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