dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
