why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
